I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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