"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
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