I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
