I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
