I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
