I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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