dude i'm inner monologue high
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am naked and annoyed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
