I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
