Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
last night I used snow as a chaser
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
