We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
