therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
