I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
