gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
