my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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