just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
