Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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