ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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