I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
