I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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