We're facebook friends in real life
we have pet lesbian snakes
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
