do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
