if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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