Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
