I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
