no, he came in my armpit
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
