Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
