capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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