I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
