Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm sobbing to NWA
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
