We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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