Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
