hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize