Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
