Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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