I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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