he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is Oprah even human
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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