Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
