Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
