All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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