i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize