It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
