Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
