I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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