So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
