Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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