I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
