As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
