I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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