How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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