and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
