your thong is hanging out like whoa
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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