Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
