she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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