once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
