this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
