Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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