Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
