so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
