i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Pooping to opera.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
