I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
